Wounded
by Megwill
Summary: Booth, while you did save my life that night in the pouring rain, you killed me inside. 'I don't know how much more love this heart can lose and I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds.' Exit Wounds


I don't know why I wrote something sad, especially now. I mean my bf is safely back from Afghan and I was even able to see my cousin for Christmas who is on leave. So, idk anyway...

_And it hurts so bad that I search my skin  
For the entry point, where love went in  
And ricocheted and bounced around  
And left a hole when you walked out yeah_

_I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room_  
_ Can anybody help me with these exit wounds_  
_ I don't know how much more love, this heart can lose_  
_ And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds__..._

_Exit Wounds by The Script  
_

I finally did it I laid my heart on the line as he would say. I finally realized he was an exception to the rule, to the rest. That he was worth taking a risk and even though I felt deep inside love never lasts and I was just going to have to be content with loneliness. Though after Lauren's case I realized maybe just maybe deep inside, even deeper I was wrong and the stinging sorrow of a certain regret had become more painful than I had ever imagined. I needed to tell him, to look him in the eye and let it all out. I didn't want regrets and I didn't want an empty heart anymore. Though, as we drove in the pouring rain I realized all too quickly I hadn't said what I wanted in time. I only heard bits and pieces of what you said but I quickly gathered I had missed my chance.

I had opened my heart only to feel it slowly bleed out. My chest felt odd, my pulse had picked up a bit and under my skin where my heart beat I felt a strange ache come on. My throat tightened and my eyes began to sting as a warming sensation fills my cheeks and eyes I try to hold back the tears unsuccessfully. Looking out the window I see your reflection in it and know everything has truly changed. I had felt wounded when Sully left but that wound healed nicely leaving no marks, with a little time I was fine. Though, you left a cut so deep it has no choice but to leave a scar.

Booth you said the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me and I know you don't want too, but you have. I've been injured it's too late I have a hole in my heart now from an acidic burn. Maybe you didn't intend to spill the acid that eats away so easily at whatever it touches, but you have and it touched my heart. You touched my heart so good only so I could feel it burn so bad. My once open heart now crushed and broken in pieces on the ground I wonder how much more blood I can lose without dying inside? How much time will this wound need to heal into a scar? I'm scared of the answer to my own question. Maybe I was right to begin with and love is in fact never lasting.

My head throbs synchronizing itself with my heart beat each time the muscle retracts and expands I know I'm losing blood from my recent wound. I realize I have a past and that we are polar opposites. Though so do you and no one is perfect but most of all I realize I was too late. I say I understand, but I don't want too I don't want to have to understand. I can feel my open heart ache as it bleeds out and know I'm living half-alive now. I've turned on the auto-pilot to make it through the rest of this night. I look at the window to try and see your reflection again but it's faded away into the night, so I stare at the street lights through the pouring rain.

The awkward silence frightens me for it speaks the truth as my mind wanders to places it shouldn't. Questions full of what ifs, thoughts I know are untrue yet I question the truth in them anyway. He doesn't love you, you are and will always be alone, and everyone has someone but you, you don't have many friends if you think about it, to be some ones Aunt is exciting but to be someones mother…I exhale a shaky breath thinking back to a year or so ago. I quickly stop my thought pattern as I feel my throat tighten and chest burn. I stare into the darkness of the pouring rain using the window to escape the awkward silence that lingers as he looks ahead not wanting to watch as I bleed out. I would look away too for this slow death is going to leave a messy cleanup.

Now stripped bare I sit emotionally naked before you and I gave you what you had wanted to hear once upon a time. I had the courage to finally voice what I wanted to say and you only took away both of our dreams. Though, you did give me an everyday reminder of tonight, tonight when you cut my heart out as I screamed for help, but no sound came out. You saved me from death tonight but you killed me inside. What's another wound I sigh, another scar to tell the story of my life?

Looking out the window I notice my own reflection this time. My face a shadow I'm able to make out my eyes as they stare back at me. My eyelashes wet just like the world outside the window I'm looking out. It's so calm inside the car no rain or crashing storm, yet just on the other side of my window the raging storm goes on throughout the night. I inhale gathering my composure maybe there isn't a raging storm inside the car per se but metaphorically inside this vehicle a hurricane has silently settled. Tornadoes spin out of control as they damage everything in their way.

I stand alone in the eye of the storm now and it's so quiet, so dark, you speak and suddenly I take a hit. A foreign object flies my way piercing my heart and now I'm lying on the ground fading fast. I should have ignored that feeling deep down I shouldn't have been so stupid to think love was ever lasting. As I lay upon the ground looking around all I see is red it's then I realize I'm lying in my own bloodshed.


End file.
